By Rosalía Nalleli Pérez-Estrada

Maybe I am wrong.  Maybe I am not. But I think that the word “Mamá”, “Mother”, “Méré”, “Mutter” or  “Nantli”  is a worldwide  respected  word  because it reminds us that first person who we met, before opening our eyes.  Maybe this word can fill up our mind or maybe, for the forgotten or the homeless ones, this does not have a good impact. Anyway, the Word exists and when we pronounce it, we feel different vibration and emotions.

I recently was asking to some friends who live in different countries how they celebrated Mother’s day and coincidently people from México, Peru, Venezuela, Cuba, Belize, The United States and France reported on having family reunions, kisses, presents and a very nice time, all together; trying to please the one who carried them in her womb for nine months and gave them the opportunity to know this world. And, although mother´s day is celebrated in a different day, we all do recognize her importance in a similar form: for some time, the family gathers to have a meal and to hug  or  kiss  mothers while they talk.

Something quite interesting about this celebration is that if you look for songs or poems for a mother, in the net, in magazines or in books, you can find that there are many of them related to her and there appear some words that are repeated a lot, such as unconditional love, security, tenderness, fullness, honesty, heart, companionship, beauty, music, caresses, justice, smiles and serenity. Besides, many of them describe the mothers´ arms, eyes or hands as a warm nest in which they feel tranquil.

Unfortunately, when I was a child I always thought that celebrating mothers was only a Mexican tradition, but I never analyzed that mothers are everywhere; all in a different representation in mind and with a different image, mood or behavior; which bring different sensations to our heart.  Their different behavior makes us understand that the special essence of a mother does not depend on the word per se and, that not all the mothers are alike, due to the fact that not all of them had a similar childhood   or education.  It also makes us know that before thinking on their super power of being mothers, it is important to remember that they are human beings who experiment emotions too. Besides feeling love and devotion, our mothers also feel fear, hate, rancor, anger, rejection, envy or hunger and thirst.  The only difference, that is also a coincidence among mothers, is that they were there, right when we needed them to help  us or to be a part  of this beautiful world,. That simple fact makes them perfect.

If  she  has already moved  to another existential field,  thank  her too for everything  she  got  to make  you feel. All her words, her kisses, her arms around you to protect  you, the moments  that made you feel important, plus her full time dedication  when you were born to protect you or to feed you. That is something that nobody can deny, whether it was your biological mother, a grandmother or an adoptive one, she was the mattress who received you to avoid accidents or she was the psychologist who helped you overcome the kinder garden mistreatment of a classmate or of a teacher. She was the one who smiled full of pleasure when you danced for the first time in your life or the one who congratulated you with your good grades…even maybe  she was the one who scolded you when she saw you for the first time with a boyfriend or  a girlfriend there.

All those situations are the precious  link that bonds  you  to her, and that makes you miss her. That is why this celebration is worthwhile, however; if your mom is not the normal prototype because she probably forgot to lullaby  you or to protect  you completely from  bad, do not judge her that bad. Remember that she probably  was  afraid  at something  too  and that she probably  had  a hurt  or miserable  childhood  that  forced her  to react  as she did.  To understand this, try to connect with her as a child, look at her playing around, her living conditions, her family, her parents, her context. Was it like yours? Did she have the same opportunities? Remember that nobody gives what he or she does not know. She probably needed to love herself first, to  love you a little bit more.

 Meanwhile, in these days and forever,  let´s continue praising those who gave us life or let´s learn how to pardon those who didn’t know what their role was, or those who never taught us how to live without them.

Rosalía Nalleli Pérez-Estrada